Mr. Collins' Midnight Sumo Wrestling

M: Wow, Bill, you don't look so good.
B: Yeah, I went out with some friends drinking last night, and I'm afraid I overdid it.
M: Got a little carried away, huh?
B: Oh man, I always get carried away. I've got so many embarrassing stories on that topic.
M: Okay, tell me one.
B: I was just thinking about this the other day.
M: Yeah?
B: Yeah, I'm coming up on my 10th anniversary of coming to Japan.
M: Oh really?
B: Yeah. And I was just remembering the very first night I came to Japan. My friends gave
me a welcome party.
M: Oh fun!
B: Yeah, we had a great time. My friends brought their guitar and banjo. And, of course,
alcohol...
M: What'd you have?
B: Sake!
M: Ooh. Bad hangover.
B: Oh yeah. But that night I was having a great time singing. I can't play a musical instrument.
I wish I could. But when my friends start picking guitar and banjo, I start feeling good.
M: Oh yeah.
B: Well, about 4 a.m., one of my friends had a really bright idea. My friend really loved watching
sumo wrestling on T.V.
M: Yeah?
B: So my friend said, "Hey let's have a sumo taikai!"
M: Hmm. Wrestling while wasted - sounds hazardous to your health.
B: I guess I was up for anything. So I went along with the the idea.
M: Uh-huh.
B: My friend figured his apartment was kind of small and we might make too much noise, so he
suggested we go to a nearby field.
M: So how far away was this field?
B: Well that's the thing, right? We were so wasted that didn't even occur to us.
M: Yeah.
B: We walked for a while, singing loudly and badly.
M: Singing?! What happened to not waking the neighbors?
B: We were just having too much fun. We couldn't contain ourselves.
M: Uh-huh.
B: Well, we were having so much fun singing that nobody bothered to keep track of where we
were going.
M: Ah-hah! So pretty soon you got-
B: Lost!
M: Uh-oh! Lost, wasted, in a foreign country. Not the sensible thing to do!
B: Well, my friend can't wait to start the sumo match. There was a rice field nearby.
M: Uh-huh.
B: And my friend says, "Here! We're having the Sumo Taikai right here!"
M: (Laughs) Man.
B: So my friend strips down to his shorts -
M: (Laughs) He strips?!"
B: Hey he wanted to follow the rules, and sumo's have to be bare-chested!
M: (Laughs) Oh man!
B: So I'm like, "Hey, when in Rome..." you know? So I strip too!
M: Down to your shorts?
B: Right down to the shorts.
M: (Laughs) God, I can just picture you drunken idiots rolling around half-naked in a rice field
at 4 in the morning!
B: And so we start to go at it. Before long, my partner has me down on the ground.
M: Uh-huh.
B: By this time, I've started to feel a bit -
M: Silly?
B: Nauseous!
M: Oh!
B: And, of course, when ya gotta go -
M: Ya gotta go!
B: Right? So, I go.
M: Right in the rice field?
B: Yep!
M: Man! You really let your hair down, eh?
B: Hey, what can I say? It was a memorable night.
M: But you got a little carried away!

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